For decades, perplexed offspring have faced an annual conundrum: What is the best gift for Father’s Day?
Through a combination of behavioural factors, such as displays of unfussiness or a tendency to offer cryptic clues, Dads have successfully managed to make buying a Father’s Day gift a tricky task. Manufacturers have claimed to have the solution, claiming that their cartoon character-adorned tie or personality-less power drill will crack the Dad-Vinci code. In some cases, they may have been right, but it’s regularly reported that there’s a pervading sense of missing the mark.
With absolutely no ulterior motive whatsoever, HonestBrew’s new, coincidentally-assembled Department for Investigation of Paternal Appropriateness (DIPA for short) have conducted a scientific* study to determine once and for all, what we should all be choosing for Father’s Day 2021 gifts.
The results were conclusive and surprising**. With tests indicating the suitability of socks and beer, DIPA were able to prove*** that a combination of these two makes an ideal gift for Father’s Day.
Accredited HonestBrew Craft Beer Expert and DIPA Lead Researcher****, Professor Frank Heffer-Vizen says:
“After extensive research, the response to socks and beer was evident but presented us with a dilemma between which was the standout winner. We were then able to further determine that, by combining the gifts into one package, the reaction and experience was even greater than before. It’s now beyond doubt that a combination of socks and craft beer is the perfect Father’s Day gift.”Professor Frank Heffer-Vizen
The methods behind the
DIPA embarked on an unprecedentedly thorough research endeavour to determine the perfect Father’s Day gift, including the following:
Analysing facial micro-movements: Beer gifts brought more smiles
A typical father’s day morning was recreated and each Dad was presented with items such as slippers, socks, bottles and cans of beer, beef jerky and more. Cables with suction cups and a very expensive machine were able to determine the fakeness of each Dad’s smile. Both socks and beer were responsible for the most genuine smiles and the best experience.
A survey of the Dads: Beer gifts ranked higher
A survey was conducted in which gifts from edible or drinkable categories, and wearable gifts were ranked in order of preference. Both socks and beer came top of their respective categories, trumping contenders such as full-body cycling lycra and sourdough starter, amongst others.
Anthropological and historical analysis on beer gifts
DIPA’s anthropological and cultural arm performed an analysis of original sources across centuries of civilisation and pre-history, including fossils, hieroglyphics, artworks and texts, up to the present day. They found that socks had moved from being considered a novelty gift into a post-novelty phase, therefore making them cool again. A concurrent study of beer revealed it to, unsurprisingly, always have been a great present.
Probability modelling: Dads thoroughly enjoy beer gifts
Carried out using HonestBrew’s state-of-the-art chalkboard and janitor, DIPA’s mathematical wing revealed that there’s a 98% chance of any craft beers received on Father’s Day being thoroughly enjoyed, which moves to 99% when comfy and eye-catching socks are also taken into account.
Finding the winning Father’s day beer gift combination
The final test involved monitoring different parts of the test Dads’ brains as they received a number of combinations of mixed beer and socks. They were presented with a craft beer brewed using socks, and beer served through a sock, but neither of these stimuli sparked the neural receptors responsible for feelings of chuffedness to a satisfactory degree.
However, when presented with a bundle of multiple craft beers and a pair of socks, DIPA observed a significantly high amount of activity. Heart rate was also monitored but seemed to increase more due to the panic around drinking a cold beer that tasted of socks*****.
Developing the perfect Father’s Day gift
With this research conducted by DIPA, at HonestBrew, we felt compelled to act to make Father’s Day gift buying as simple as possible this year.
We’ve created the HonestBrew Father’s Day Bundle, enhancing the prototype used in DIPA’s research with a pair of our own vibrant, beer-themed socks, six craft beers, and a tasting beer glass. If you want to be 200% sure of Father’s Day gift success, there’s also an Ultimate bundle, which adds extra beers from our wide selection and two delicious snacks, plus more goodies to make the most perfect and personalised father’s day gift pack.
If you find yourself in a Father’s Day gift conundrum, look no further. We’ve done the hard work, crunched the numbers, and created the perfect solution: the HonestBrew Father’s Day Beer Bundle. If you’re looking for further inspiration, check out our Father’s Day Beer Gift Guide!
* Well, kind of
** Maybe not that surprising
*** Depending on how strict you want to be
**** He got this role because he can tell the difference between a Pale Ale and Session IPA in one sip
***** No Dads were harmed in this study. In fact, they asked us if we can do it again next year.